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The Alternative News

for the Arizona FreeNet World


Most recent update of this copy of the alt.news: May 2nd 1996 at 5:25 am MST


Brought to you, with frequent updates, as a public service by ShyNet ReporTinC(*)


A disclaimer is due here to provide a varnish of seriousness to the ShyNet ReporTinCs: This is an alpha version of The Alternative News and as such it might, by pure coincidence, be absolutely correct. The editorial staff apologize for the few and minor inconveniences that such a feat might cause.

To-Day in ShyNet


Forecast for Thursday May 2, 1996 compiled with assistance of FreeMort=UnixHorrors Brainware


  1. CPU
    Full screen editing is expected to slow down towards the early hours of the evening but no drastic halt is anticipated.
    List processing, such as searching for names using the f-list database is expected to fail most of the time. Don't panic if you find out that you yourself are unknown to the f-list, it doesn't mean that you are not, it's just a feature of the system. Those who have lost their self-esteem as consequence of this peculiarity are being offered by the alt.news free counseling: Dear Aby-te will accept your confidential but public e-mail. Send in a description of your problem NOW to: alt.counseling.dear.aby-te.
  2. Modems
    Quite normal behavior expected, busier than yesterday. Until late evening hours don't even try to login at 9600 bps. Leave those lines free for their use by our alt.news.staff.

To-Morrow in ShyNet

Forecast for Friday May 3, 1996 compiled with assistance of FreeMort=UnixHorrors Brainware:

  1. CPU
    Full screen editing expected to be faster and more responsive than on Thursday, especially in the evening hours, unless you all read this forecast and decide to write all your procrastinated e-mail this Friday evening.
    List processing using the f-list database? Forget about it, haven't you learned already that this is one of the unreliable features? Remember that you can get free counseling for the virtual pain produced by not seeing your name on the f-list cyberscreen. Get your share of free counseling from Dear Aby-te by means of confidential but public e-mail bu sending in a description of your problem by e-mail to: alt.counseling.dear.aby-te.
  2. Modems
    Quite normal behavior expected, much less busy than on Thursday, unless you all get inspired by this forecast...


Quizzes-R-Us

Quiz Yourself !

Questions prepared by alt.news.staff
Replies submitted by anon.users
  1. Quiz # 1
    Q: How many Arizona FreeNet volunteer-programmers are needed to reinstall a debugged version of dired?
    A: ***** Answers currently being compiled: send us now your own creative anwer to Quiz # 1 by e-mail: quiz-#1.reply-anon.users.
    Q: Quiz # 2
    Q: Is there any Arizona FreeNet users database available for searching?
    A: ***** Answers currently being compiled: send us now your own creative anwer to Quiz # 2 by e-mail: quiz-#2.reply-anon.users.


(*) A prize will be given to the first human user who decodes this acronym. Try it! Send e-mail to: alt.news.staff.
Hastily put together but fully copyrighted as work in development by TICBT-R-US, Phoenix, Arizona, USA
The Alternative News: created, 960430; last time evolved, 960501

Most recent update: May 2nd 1996 at 5:25 MST